well,since i woke up this early..i just dunno what to do..i had finished doing necessary things for my soul..so now maybe i might spend some time writing crap here..haha...i miss my family la..,mama,abah...i have final exam on 17 and 25..wish me luc k..to tell u the truth,,i havent start study seriously yet,..hahaha..maybe i will start today..abah,QS is quite hard...we need to measure all the material needed to construct the building and its too many...but its ok..i have started to like it..well,i love to measure..haha..maybe ure right for recommended me this career..i will do my best from now..ganbatte!insyaallah..hehe..
these days i think a lot...about myself..about her..about my future..i need to change!till when i wanna continue being like this?yeah,,i think a lot..maybe its really time for me to be serious with my decision...i have played too much...enough is enough..oh man..its hard...its too hard..but i need to try..nearly 2 weeks i have become like this..its stupid..but this is me...im continue to run in circle...and its just hurt both of us..,well,yes ure right...i need to change..,i thought a lot about what u said.,.but i hope ure also think bout us during this period..what is the best for us...i will wait for ur answer..u know what,,i will once again try to ask u,,if u really care bout this..think carefully...i have ask u what we should take and do..well,i know u wont accept it...at least,.,give it a thought..take ur time ok?im sorry if i have hurt ur feelings too many times during our relationship..im so sorry..nothing else i can offer besides sorry..if ure really tired with me..i accept it..i also dont want this relationship to continue being like this..maybe im not the right man for u..n if i continue being with u,i will continue hurting ur feeling..enough is enough..no matter how hard i try to change,..i will always hurt ur feelings..and when it become like this..both of us will hurt..and it will continue..n im afraid..that this will also continue even after we married..plz focus on ur exam..i also dont want to disturb u..this is my last post..i also need to focus on my exam..give a thought on the email i sent u..till when we wanna continue being like this?ask urself...n i will ask myself as well..maybe im not strong enough to do this alone..but if u agree with my opinion..its easy for both of us..i know ure not ready..me too...but i dunno any other way...because we're too young..dats what u think..i know u wanna enjoy ur young life..but its not possible to enjoy it even after 'that' right?yea..maybe ur parents will not allow it..but i hope they will understand..i care bout u..thats why i have thought this carefully...plz dont blindly write in ur post how much u hate bout me and making ur friends hate me as well...plz..i hope u think bout it..we're both adult..well,maybe im not too adult yet..but i have tried...i hope..i really hope that..we can be together as legal in His eyes..think it..and give me ur answer..im ready to accept whatever ur decision..take ur time..dont rush...this is really a big decision for both of us..im ready to be hurt..and im prepare to accept whatever u might say bout me that time..dont think ure the one who in pain..think too bout why im doin like that..think too how pain i am to take such decision like that..think too why i always kept coming to u even after i said like that to u..think..but its ok..i will wait for ur answer..if u ready,tell me..but if u dont,,take ur time..i will wait..i will wait for ur answer..plz give it a really deep thought before answering me..i dont want both of us to regret after this..i will accept all ur answer..n plz..dont post something that can make ur friends hate me again in ur blog..coz i never make any of my friends hate u..if u wanna hate me,keep it to urself..if u wanna express bad things bout me,keep it to urself...n dont let other people know..i know im not good enough for u..but dats not the reason for u to do like that..i know im wrong..but u dont need to go that far..,i have understand u..thanx for giving me this time to think bout u..i understand u..but also i understand what i need to do to bring this relationship to a right track..i propose u..im proposing u with all my heart..plz accept my love as im not making this decision blindly..i have given it a really deep thought...u too..plz give it a really deep thought...im not being selfish,but im thinking the best for both of us..mama,abah..sorry...i have done what i should have done...i hope,u both also can accept my decision..im doing this decision during my critical stage...i cant let her go mama,abah...but i also cant lie myself towards Him..plz pray for me...za,..i care bout u deeply in my heart....i really care bout u...im not crazy..im not psycho...but its ok..i understand...if u cant stand with me..with my attitude..and already feel tired with me...i know..maybe im not Mr.Right for u..i know...although we love each other...but our actions dont show like we love each other...i need u..but i also need His blessing...how can i get both?only one way...thats why..im proposing u...with all my heart...with all my tears...sincerely...I LOVE U...N I LOVE ALLAH...assalamualaikum...
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